Monday, January 20, 2014

Let's Get Real: Awkwardly Social

I remember noticing Sarah's style from the start of the semester and I believe I mentioned her in a post before because of it. Besides the fact that she rocked maxi dresses and skirts throughout winter, we share the same blunt bang style (almost every other girl on campus sticks to sideswept bangs) and totally pulls off the geek glasses for those hipster days. Oh, and see her scarf in that photo? That's actually a skirt. Yeah, she thrifted it because she liked the print and doubles it as an infinity scarf. Definitely one of those people you see and think to yourself: She seems like a cool person - I'd like to be friends with her!

Then I realized something: I don't know how to make friends anymore.
Back in elementary school, it was super easy. You just walked up to a person and said, "Hey, you want to play with us? Let's be friends."
Boom. Instant friends. If I tried this tactic out on campus, it may work on a few quirky souls (who are probably the ones that are worth my time and friendship), but I'm certain many would give me a smirky laugh and a WTF expression. I just don't have the bravado or confidence to pull that line off.

So since starting college, I'm awesome at making aquaintances. I can usually make at least one "class friend" in each one, but developing genuine friendships?
Man, it is awkward! That, or it's just me who's awkward...
Haha, it's like you have to ask a person out on a date!

"Hey, what are you up to?"
"Not much, what about you?"
"Same. We should hang out sometime. We can grab coffee or something."
*insert long delay in response*
Me talking to myself: "Oh crap...was I too forward?"

At this point I feel like this chick:
This is why I dub myself the "awkwardly social" type.
But it's okay - it turns out she's the same! Haha, we even talked about how it's weird trying to make real connections in college. We're just rusty at the game apparently.

I think this is the beginning of a lovely friendship, and it's probably sad, but I'm so excited to have met another girl I can click with. It happens so rarely for me - to meet someone new and instantly feel comfortable enough to open up and be myself. Much less a fellow girl! My few, close girl friends have moved farther away, making our times together more sparse. I've never been one to be friends with a bunch of girls. I'd much rather hang out with the guys - they don't have that catty underworld that confuses me and are always more hilarious. Whenever the girls in my class or team would hang out, it was like they spoke another language, and I clammed up.
That's who I am though - I'm usually reserved in large groups, tend to keep quiet instead of sharing my thoughts, and have never found it easy to express myself so freely. Every word is carefully crafted in my head so that I don't sound like a fool.

However, my true friends know that's not the case. Because it's with them that I can laugh obnoxiously, say the first thing that pops into my head, and be a complete idiot. It's those carefree moments that are the most bonding, because you reveal your true self and trust them not to laugh at you, but with you.

So when you find a friend like that, you know you've found a keeper ;) 
Haha, because friendships really can be like a dating relationship in some ways!
Any of you gals awkwardly social? Or what about you social butterflies? Any tips to share?

I'll have to do a guest post on Sarah featuring her urban-boho look one of these days!

For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up!
Ecclesiastes 4:10
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18 comments:

Beauty Fashion Skin Care Blog - Girlie Blog Seattle said...

Such an honest post. I've always had trouble making TRUE friends. But it gets easier as I age though. I'm in my 30's now, and know what I'm looking for. Definitely eliminates a lot of fake friends with awkward socials. Thanks for sharing. I often write about friendships on my blog and it's nice to see other fashion bloggers do it.

Have a wonderful day!

Beauty Fashion Skin Care Blog -Girlie Blog Seattle | Casual Chic Style

Samantha said...

Oh, Linda, you're not alone! Haha. I had similar thoughts running through my head while I was in university (especially when classes consist of sitting alone and listening to the professor. No class interaction). It was easier when we were kids, eh! beautiful post :)

Kim Alston said...

Linda, I've met a lot of fake friends! HAHAHA I ended up getting rid of them. They're no good. I have a couple of genuine friends. It gets harder as you get older. People are pulled in different directions and life adds marriage, kids etc. So people start doing their own thing. Remember GOD will give you who you need just at the right time. There's a song, "you'll never walk alone".
http://www.averysweetblog.com/

Ali Hval said...

hahaha, I love that part about walking up when you were in kindergarten making friends so easily. Ain't that the truth?

Yeah, I definitely have made a grand total of not many true friends at college. I really just don't like to hang around people at college, as weird as that sounds, and I like to be alone most of the time. Even when people do want to be my friend and hang out, I'm pretty lame and say that I don't want to...? I don't really understand it. I don't really feel a need to have friends, but I do like knowing people in my classes. Does that even... make sense? hahahaha. I guess I enjoy my solitude. I r lame.

Sonia De Macedo said...

Hahahaha you know what, you're totally on point here. I never actually realized it until I read this. Yeah, it was so much easier then, you'd walk up to someone or invite them to play with you and suddenly you're going to their house after school and stuff. These days, ha! People would think you're weird for doing that. Or just intruding in their space. Maybe it's an age thing? I don't really know how young kids these days act in school. I kinda imagine it to be empty playgrounds with kids sitting on the basketball courts immersed in their iPads, messaging each other through FB...

SDMxx
www.daringcoco.com

zara may said...

I love your blog
followed
http://minimaysi.blogspot.co.uk/

Maiken said...

you ladies are slightly similar ;) and I would definitely love to read a post about your new friend's style.
when it comes to making friends I must say it hasn't been easy for me either. during school/university I always had a couple of good friends from my class/course. but I also had one best friend throughout all my schoolyears and even more. but then we both moved and the distance became 160 km long. our friendship faded and is no pretty much gone. at the same time I have to admit I don't have time for cafes, hanging out etc anyway because I work from 8 am till 5 pm from monday to friday and weekends are even busier. so I guess life has just changed my relationships and besides, I can talk about everything with my fiance. so I don't actually miss having girlfriends. and I have those girlfriend moments with his sisters when I see them. though of course it's a bit sad how I and my best friend grew apart. everything happens for a reason though :)

Maiken,
Maikeni blogi - part of me

JANICE G said...

this is very sweet

the STYLE Fringe BLOG
the STYLE Fringe BLOGLOVIN
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Mica T said...

You and your friend are so cute!

It can be tricky making friends, but it's quality that counts over quantity :)

Away From Blue

Toks said...

Great post. I've come to the conclusion that "real" friends are few, I mean friends you can really count on.
xoxoxo

Pop Champagne said...

it's harder to meet people in college because everyone has a different schedule. I found 90% of my college friends came about at some drunken party lol.

Sam said...

Hi Linda, I can totally relate to being socially awkward, Id rather have just a few good genuine friends than a horde of people I barely even know. Its difficult making new friends and finding people on the same wavelength as you are, but when you do, those friends are to be cherished forever.

Lindsay Truax said...

You have a great blog and I love your insight both into fashion and life in general.

pinkandnavystripes.com

Hannah Gottlieb-Graham said...

Awhh, it's so great that you've met a caring and genuine girl who you can bond with on campus! I was extremely social in high school, joining practically every club/sport possible, but when I came to college in New York I immediately noticed how closed-off many of the students are. Maybe it's a cold "New Yorker" stereotype in full swing, but I definitely found it difficult to connect with people initially, because kids were just so hostile!! But now I've joined tons of extracurricular activities and learned how to bond with people and make new friends. Sometimes it just takes a while!

Xo, Hannah

sweetsweetnoir.net

katie said...

I think it can be more difficult make friends as you get older just because it takes time for a realationship to grow organicaly into friendship.(like you said, in school you can just go up to someone and be like " lets be friends!" That doesn't work as you get older but you are such a genuine and joyful person I'm sure people enjoy being around you.)

Marlen said...

HAHA i LOVE that meme. And using a skirt as an infinity scarf- I think I just got a crush on her. And girl, just wait till you're out of college. At least in school you have things like class to talk about- once you're in an office it's like trying to pick up girls in a bar. But I totally know what you mean. When I lived in Seattle I had no friends so one time I found myself trying to work up the courage to ask one of the girls that worked in the coffee shop to maaaybe hang out. I felt like such a creep and slinked home, haha!

xo marlen
Messages on a Napkin

Nathyness said...

Hahaha I LOVED this post! I'm definitely awkwardly social as well. It was even more pronounced in my early college years. You see, I went to a very small private school and was raised with the same group of kids every year. So I knew everyone and everyone was my friend! Connection was easy! It was like living in a small town. Then college came and making connections became difficult, ESPECIALLY since I was in a committed relationship. I joined a sorority but dropped it within the first semester when I realized this particular one (and Greek life at the college in general) was all about "mixers"-- vehicles for meeting potential partners.

Eventually I found a great group of friends from the anthropology department, and some from the pych dept. You'll find the quirky people in the social sciences, I think, haha.

Anyway, love both of your bangs, and I wish you two a lovely friendship! Just remember to always maintain that honesty of yours, that authenticity, and you'll attract the right kinds of friends for you. :)

czarianonuevo said...

ohh awkwardly social, can really relate to this!!! it's so hard to approach someone and tell her she has this cool style because the fear of her giving you that awkward reaction (and worst, kinda-bitch face) scares you first. However, what i've learned thru the years is just to be easy and always trying to see the good in everyone.

i'm really glad you posted this!


czarina :)

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